We're not sure why, but Hobart's passing has deeply affected us. We've been through this twice before now. We lost Sydney and then Brisbane.
We've been thinking about it and realized that when we had Sydney, we added Brisbane. Then we added Hobart. We always had cats around us.
Then we lost Sydney. But we still had Brisbane and Hobart. Then we lost Brisbane but we still had Hobart.
Now we have no kitty.
The void in our lives is palpable. The pain this time is very difficult but we are managing as best we can.
Our entire 26 years together has always consisted of having cats. We come home now and there is silence. We wake up and there is silence. I find myself wanting to go check the litter box. In the mornings we feel like it's time to feed the kitty. When we're watching TV, there is no cat on the floor by us. Or on the couch. Or meowing for a snack. Or just walking through the room to say hello on his way to a favorite spot.
There is an emptiness...
...and sadness hangs in the air.
We're hoping this passes but as I type this, I look at the chair that held sunshine days with his blanket on it and he's not there. We haven't moved it yet. 2nd Man expects to see him sleeping on the blue blanket next to him on the couch. Or I expect to see him in the cat bed by the door when I get home from work. But he's not there. And that's when the tears come. I think with all of our other losses, there was always still love to give and love to surround us...but now we can't feel that.
It went off the other night. We had to delete it. It just hurt too much.
We don't want a new pet anytime soon. We need to focus on the move and getting settled and maybe we'll adapt to a new normal. As I mentioned, we don't know what it is to not have pets, but we'll get through it.
Right now, we feel as if we've lost our mojo. It's only a few days post loss so hopefully, we'll get back into the swing of things soon.
Grief takes time...and time heals.
Nothing wrong with a good cry in the cat food aisle. <3
ReplyDeleteGet your house/home finished ... get moved in and settled ... then get a rescue kitty or two ... fill your new home with Cat Love! 🐈 🐈⬛
ReplyDeleteI’m crying along with you. I know and feel your pain. ❤️💔 Judy in California
ReplyDeleteMy husban and I have had cats for over 30 years. I feel your pain. You have my deepest sympathies. When you are ready, a new cat will find YOU. In the mean time remember Hobart and all the good times. Concentrate on yourselves and your beautiful new house and the move. Breathe.
ReplyDeleteFor some reason, people think that the loss of a pet is less important than the loss of a beloved human. So they don't allow themselves to grieve with the same depth they devote to a person. But our relationship with pets can be the same or even much more than people - they are deeply ingrained in our lives. Hobart was clearly deeply loved by you both and was a huge part of your world. Allow yourselves all the time you need to grieve. When the time is right, the Cat Distribution System will find you.
ReplyDeleteHobart was your child. Nothing wrong in grieving deeply for him, especially since he was with you for twenty years. But, once you have moved, you must get a new kitten who will - you can be sure - capture and heal your hearts. Roderick
ReplyDeleteI'd send kitty live your way if I could. I agree with previous poster that grieving a pet is a deep loss.
ReplyDeleteYou had him for 20 years. What you're feeling is perfectly understandable. It hurts deeply to lose them. My husband told me a year after we lost our cat that 'the house just doesn't feel like home without a cat'.
ReplyDeleteThat empty chair breaks my heart. I cry with you. Hang in there, enjoy the new house and the move and you will heal in time. But allow it to take its time. Grief takes time as you said, and it is indeed a journey. Love - Janie
ReplyDeletei can't even think about hobart being gone without crying. the w's are my everything and i can't think about what life will be without them. all i know is that people like us, who love them so deeply, we should always bring new ones into our lives because there are so many who need our care and love. you will know when the time is right. you can't have an animal-less farm! big hugs to you guys and i am thinking about you!
ReplyDeletePeople will tell you that you need to get another kitty as soon as possible. Some will say you need to wait a long time. You need to do what feels right for you. You will know what that is. As for Hobart's chair, blanket, etc. don't be in a hurry to move them or pack them away. Just leave them be as long as you want to. Yes, they are painful reminders but then being out of sight won't make the pain any easier. Grief takes time and you will always miss Hobart and always hurt but it will get easier as time goes by. Just remember, he's still there with you even if you can't see him. Just be easy on yourselves, live each day as best you can and grieve as long as you need to.
ReplyDeleteMy heart aches for your loss, kitties sure leave a giant hole. I lost my little Tom-Tilly kitty earlier in late Spring, I've yet to blog about it :(
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Jo
I'm sorry about Hobart. You're not the only person to cry in a store.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
It seems you have a sweet memory that might even bring a little smile and then your mind starts to run away, and sad memories fill in, I know it hurts and people say it will get better, but it just gets different, the hurt stays. One day you will decide it might be time to have a new kitten to play in that nice house and bring smiles, but your first memory will always be there.
ReplyDeleteYou know Hobart had the best life a cat could have, he had a house to run and two men to serve him.
ReplyDeleteFur babies are not pets, they are family. Of course you are brokenhearted.
ReplyDeleteHugs xxxx
ReplyDeleteJust a thought, they have those throws, blankets, quilts, etc. where you can have your favorite pictures, memories put on it. I thought maybe, later on, ya'll could have one made of pictures/memories of Hobart. It would be so nice to share with each other. Just a thought.
ReplyDeleteLet the healing tears come. We all understand.
ReplyDeleteMy heart breaks for you both. The empty chair with Hobart’s blanket is so very sad.
ReplyDeleteHobart was a much loved member of your family for 20 years. Losing him is a terrible loss. Feeling deep grief at the loss of a family member is normal. Give yourself all the time you need. When my last old dog died, I slept with her collar on my bedside table for months, just to have her scent next to me.
Those we love never truly leave us, they stay in our hearts forever.
So sad that you two are so sad. Cry when you need to cry. Even though the items cause you sadness, it seems they would be a comfort to see what a lovely Hobart you had. Here is a big hug.
ReplyDeleteSorry for your loss. I'm sure Hobart was greeted by many happy and loving 4 legged fur buddies. You both just take it one day at a time and hold all them happy memories in your heart.
ReplyDeleteFriends and commenters; this is a good time to make a donation to your local animal shelter. It doesn't have to be cash. Talk to your neighbors, close friends, employees you work with for them to bring to you their old and or new towels, wash cloths, old and or new blankets, laundry pods, pet beds etc. All of that is much needed at animal shelters and then some. No donation is too small.
I pick up many of these items at thrift stores, garage sales, etc. Anything I can get my hands on, including old quilts and all is donated to our local shelter.
Check with your local animal shelter to see what else they are in need of. It's getting onto cooler temperatures, so they could really use some nice warm blankets for them 4 legged fur babies; cats and dogs to lay on. Some places will even take sections of carpet that are being used for warmth.
So, please, make a donation to your local animal shelter.
My thoughts and prayers go out to all who have lost a 4 legged fur baby family member.
Remember; those sheltered animals need our help. The shelters rely on our donations.
Thank You
Whenever one of my furbaby crosses over the rainbow bridge, I buy a beautiful wind chime for remembrance. One of those large ones with deep, soothing tones that whisper quietly and help me remember and heal my heart.
ReplyDeleteThis was so sad to read. Our pets are a part of the family, so their loss isn't just for the individual, their loss changes everything in the home because there's a gap in the family. We grieve for both.
ReplyDeleteAs impossible as it seems today, it will get easier. There will always be an ache but eventually you’ll be able to smile with his memory. And as a previous commenter said, the cat distribution system will surely find you when the time is right. Many hugs to you both.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear this, I'm sure when you get settled with the new house you will bring another little kitten into your life. Pets are part of the family that's for sure.
ReplyDelete