Saturday, December 7, 2013

I'VE LOST MY GRANDFATHER

 Grandpa B 1917-2013
I lost my Grandfather yesterday.

Got the call at about 3:30am (boy, nothing good ever comes from the phone ringing that early in the morning does it?).

He had recently been diagnosed with pneumonia and was having difficulty swallowing. He was taken to the hospital in Oklahoma City and while he rallied for a couple of days, in the end, he slowly faded from us and died peacefully in his sleep.  I was not able to be there because of the Winter ice storm that is gripping Texas/Oklahoma, but I was able to speak to him briefly and we were able to say our goodbyes.  He told me I was the best Grandson he could have ever hoped for.  And he told me he loved 2nd Man.

Forward thinking for a 96 year old.

He was my garden guru growing up and one of these days, I'm going to try to find some of the photos of his amazing gardens and my adventures growing up each summer with them and share.  One thing for sure, I know that next Spring, I'll have an extra garden helper with me.

He was the last...I've now lost both parents and both sets of Grandparents.  I'm an only child, no siblings and thus no nieces or nephews, so it's an odd feeling in a way, sort of a lonely feeling, but hey, life goes onward and upward, right?

We love you Grandpa!


85 comments:

Shannan Deshazer said...

What a nice blessing to get from him. I'm sorry for you but grateful you got to say goodbye and have such lovely memories to carry around with you

FionaG said...

My deepest sympathies. He may be gone but he will still walk beside you. At 96 years of age, what a life to be celebrated. I have siblings but all other relatives are gone now. I created a memorial garden with a seat in the middle then planted a special plant for each special family member that passed. Every plant is an Australian native so it attracts the bird and every plant has a different coloured flower. It's near a lovely deciduous tree which has good sized bird bath under it. It's a very peaceful and special part of our garden. My thoughts are with you both.

beachdaddy said...

So sorry!! Like Blanche said (Golden Girls) when her father was gone, I'm nobody's little girl any more. I know the feeling ... You have our sympathies...
Clifton Leatherwood

DFW said...

Condolences my friend. Glad you got to say goodbye & he got to tell you he loved you & 2nd Man. Yes, quite forward thinking indeed. I'm finding with my parents they are more mellow as they grow older. I think as you grow older you are willing to put many prejudices aside because what can good does it do to continue to feel sadness or have hatred about things you cannot change. I like Fiona's idea of a memorial garden are at least a tree planted in his honor. Peaceful thoughts to you two.

Rachel @ Grow a Good Life said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. I hope the memories you have will help comfort you.

Susan said...

It has been many years since I lost my Papa. The pain fades to be replaced by just memories. I still would love to curl up next to him in his recliner.
Hang on to the good memories.

Janice said...

So sorry for your loss, but what a grand age to live to. So glad you were able to say your goodbyes. DILs dad died yesterday. She was able to spend the last week with him, but it was very difficult as he was only 70 and diagnosed with cancer only 5 weeks ago.

Anonymous said...

I am sorry for your loss. Peace to you.

Scarlett Burroughs said...

If we live long enough, we all become orphans. Sorry for your loss. Glad his sweet spirit will live on with you. --Scarlett

Kelly said...

So sorry honey. My grandfather is 95 so I totally get it. I'm glad you were able to have your good byes. I'm dreading saying mine when it's time. Love across the miles.

Dani said...

Sincere condolences, 1st Man.

I'm so happy for you that you were able to say goodbye. My mother died when I was 15 - and the lack of goodbye left a gaping wound...

A memorial garden sounds lovely - with perhaps a "Grandfather" bench where you can sit and remember all those special moments you shared wiith him...?

ladyhawthorne said...

May his memory be eternal. Hugs to you & 2nd Man.

Jennifer said...

I am sorry for your loss. Grandparents are a special breed. Be safe on all that ice.

MTVA said...

Deepest sympathy on the loss of your grandfather. It really is a lonely feeling when you are the only one left of your family, but after a while you realize you are blessed with the comfort of their spirit around you, and remembering all their sweetness and goodness. I like the idea above of a peaceful garden area to commemorate our dear ones no longer with us, such a lovely, comforting thing to do.

jaz@octoberfarm said...

so sorry to hear this. he lied a great long life but it is hard to lose a loved one no matter how old they are. i lost my only grandparent when i was 10. i lost the rest of my family by the time i was 20. it was weird to be an orphan.

JW said...

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. Grandpas are special.

Moonwaves said...

I'm so very sorry for your loss. That "I'm an orphan"-type feeling is a bit weird I know. Although being from Ireland, coming from a Catholic family and from a time when two kids was not the norm, I can't say I'm without close family entirely. Plenty of siblings who have given me plenty of nieces and nephews and, to be honest, although I don't know them I reckon half the island would have to be wiped out before the extended family were all gone. But still, yep, it's a weird feeling. So lovely that you had a good relationship with him though, that means a lot. Wishing you strength and peace during this difficult time.

Quinn said...

I'm very sorry for your loss. How lovely that you had that last conversation! And what a comfort that you will feel your grandfather's spirit working with you in the garden.

Jane and Chris said...

That is sad to hear. The blessing he gave you and 2nd man is wonderful...something to treasure. You'll hear him in the garden, I know you will.
Jane x

Laurie said...

I know your heart must be breaking, I'm so sorry, but he will always be in your heart, you can keep him there, take care,

John Gray said...

Sending you my very best wishes and thoughts
So sorry

Marcia said...

So sorry for your loss. He was one year older than my Mom who I lost in September. Yesterday was her birthday too. You have many good memories to keep him with you and yes he will be there with you in your garden. God bless you as you mourn.

Heather Rose-Chase said...

I'm so very sorry to hear this! I lost all my grandparents at a very early age, and some days I wish they were around to see the grown up I've become, instead of the little girl that they knew me as. Sounds like he was an amazing man, and I'm so sorry for your loss.

Pam said...

Very sorry for your loss. He sounds like the best sort of man. :)

Akannie said...

You are blessed and so was grandpa. I lost all my grandparents and parents too young...maybe it is always too soon. My love and blessings surround you both--love you guys. Sounds like he had a life worth celebrating...and I know you do. xoxoxoxox

Kris said...

So sad to read about this. He sounds like a wonderful man and you are very fortunate to have him in your life. He may be physically gone, but he will always be with you. He is the same age as my Mrs. T. who I take care of. Although she swears she's 99. I can't imagine not having her around. You are both in my thoughts and prayers.

Leilani Schumacher said...

Wishing you peace to bring you comfort, courage to face the days ahead, and loving memories - especially those of his garden - to forever hold in your hearts and get you through this sad time.

It's Just Dottie said...

I am so sad for you!
Dottie

texomamorganlady said...

Condolences on your loss, he sounds like a wonderful man.

Tonya @ My Cozy Little Farmhouse said...

Oh FM how my heart breaks for you and SM. I am glad your GP had a wonderfully long lived life and I am sorry for your loss. Cherish all your wonderful memories and peace be with you.

Wean said...

So sorry for your loss - sending (((hugs)))

Kate said...

So sorry for your loss. I too am an only child and have lost both sets of grandparents and my Father just last year. My Mom is 90 and well, we take each day as it comes. I can relate to what you are feeling and have often had those thoughts myself. But I look at it as that they are in a MUCH better place now and very happy! That I wish for them and for your family.

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

Sandy said...

1st Man,

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your Grandpa hasn't left, he will always be with you. In fact, when you go to prep your garden, select seeds to plant he's going to be there guiding you on. You're gardens will be massive, and full of healthy vegetables and fruits for harvest. He will be extremely proud of the gardens you produce. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

1st Man said...

Thank you. Very lovely memories. I appreciate it!

1st Man said...

I like the idea of a special plant for each family member. I've got a sort of memorial area that I have envisioned, it already has a bench in it. I like the idea of adding to it. Thanks for that. And thanks for the thoughts. Much appreciated across the miles!

1st Man said...

I love that you quoted Blanche. She was my fave. Thank you again, very appreciated.

1st Man said...

He was very forward thinking. He was always pretty progressive, a lifelong Democrat too. He was very strong minded in his opinions earlier in his life bugt later on, he was, as you said, mellower than he was before. I like the idea as well. Will work on that next Spring. Thank you again.

1st Man said...

They do, they definitely do. Been laughing all day today (in between coughing, ha). Thanks again.

1st Man said...

Aww, thank you, I totally understand. The pain of my parents passing, while still there, is dulled by the happy memories. Time does heal doesn't it? Thank you....

1st Man said...

It's that time of year it seems, for some reason the holiday season always seems like there is more loss. 70 is not old to me, so I can imagine. My thoughts back your direction. 96 still amazes me, as far as we know, the oldest member of our family ever.

1st Man said...

Thank you....

1st Man said...

Great way of thinking about it. Thank you much for stopping by and leaving your kind words. They are appreciated.

1st Man said...

Wow, 95, didn't realized you had someone that age in your family as well. I feel it across the miles. Thank you. Stay warm too!

1st Man said...

Thank you, so very kind. I can't imagine losing them at 15, I was in my 30's/40's when I lost my parents and it was hard enough. Bench is a great idea. Thank you!

1st Man said...

Thank you very much!

1st Man said...

Thank you, they are pretty awesome aren't they? I"ve been truly blessed, all four grandparents were just as awesome as could be. Thank you, and yes, staying warm!

1st Man said...

The garden area is a great idea. The more I think about it, the more ideas that toss around in my head. I already have an area I was thinking about for pets, but I'm also thinking why not expand that to just be a comforting place to sit and think and reflect on all those in our family.

Thank you!!

1st Man said...

Wow, you did have your share of loss at a young age. Feeling like an orphan is never easy but I can imagine at such young age it was particularly tough. He did I've a great long life, can't deny that. He even had his mind right up to the end. We're grateful for that. Thank you again, big hugs back to you.

1st Man said...

They are aren't' they? Thank you much for stopping by to comment, much appreciated.

1st Man said...

Thank you for the kind words. You made me laugh about the half the island comment, ha. I understand. Thank you again. Be well!

1st Man said...

Oh yes, I'm very grateful for the last conversation, though honestly I didn't know it would be our last but in hindsight, it did seem that way now. And yes, i'm guessing I'll feel a spirit with me next Spring! ;-)

1st Man said...

Thank you! Very sweet comment. We do treasure it. And I'll look forward to hearing him in the garden.

1st Man said...

I like that. He, indeed all those who've left me, will be with me always. It's nice when you can look back and smile without the sadness. Thank you Laurie, you're such a kind soul. Much appreciated.

1st Man said...

Thank you John. Big cyber hugs across the pond. Thanks.

1st Man said...

Thank you Marcia. Your words comfort me and I appreciate that. I hope you are healing as well.

1st Man said...

Why thank you, what a touching thing you said about wishing they could see the grown up you've become. I'm sure they have been there. Thank you much!!

1st Man said...

I like the way you said that. The best sort of man. He was. He really was. Thank you!

1st Man said...

You are so wonderful. Thank you for the words, they are healing. Love back to you!

1st Man said...

Wow, maybe she is 99. Grandpa almost made it to 97. Anything 90+ is an amazingly long life. I know he'll be with me. Thank you, and you give Mrs. T an extra hug next time you see her!

1st Man said...

Thank you very much. Very kind to say. Will do!

1st Man said...

Thank you....ironically, my Grandmother's name was Dottie....well, it was Dorothy but she went by Dottie. Thank you!

1st Man said...

He was pretty awesome. We're glad we had each other in the end. Thanks again, sweet of you to stop by.

1st Man said...

Thank you, he did have a good long life. Been reminiscing all weekend, had some great memories. Hugs to you.

1st Man said...

I am a big hugger, so I appreciate it. Thank you, very much.

1st Man said...

Definitely in a much better place, and of course, all together finally too. I couldn't ask for more guardian angels to watch over me, that's for sure. Thank you much, and give your Mom an extra hug! Thanks again.

1st Man said...

Sweet Sandy, I appreciate it. Didn't know what I was comforting you, I'd need some comforting myself. Life just comes at us and we take it and move on huh? I SO hope for massive gardens, his were always so well maintained (and in SW Oklahoma where it's always hot and oppressive, ha). Thank you again, big hugs to you.

Galestorm said...

So very sorry for your loss. Sending my deepest condolences to you and 2nd Man.
He is not dead - He is just away...
XX Wanda

Alison said...

I'm very sorry to hear this sad news. He was very special. I'm glad he lived a long and meaningful life and that you were able to share it. I'm very glad you got to say goodbye. I wish him well on his next journey.

Frank from Virginia said...

So sorry 1st and 2nd there is never a good time for this even though we know it is something we can not avoid. All you can do is to remember and live on with his values and joy in your heart.

1st Man said...

I like that, he is just away. Thank you so very much. XX to you as well.

1st Man said...

Hey ya, thank you so much for the words. He did have a long life that's for sure. Onward and upward, right? Luv ya Alison!

1st Man said...

We do all know the time comes and it never makes it easier. But yes, I do have joy in my heart tonight, thinking of what a great life he had and how much of an impact he made on our lives. Thank you Frank!

Gammy Tammy said...

Men, I'm so very sorry for your loss. Big hugs to you both!

Thomas Generazio said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. :( He seemed like a wonderful man. Forward thinking is right - when I came out to my dad a couple of years before he died, he was completely supportive as well, which is surprising for a very traditional Roman Catholic Vietnamese father.

Annie*s Granny said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a grandpa like that. He was (and still is) the most important person in my life, the only person that loved me unconditionally. He passed away more than 50 years ago, but he is still with me in spirit daily. I honestly feel like he has been the angel on my shoulder through the years. There have been a few happenings in my life that had no other explanations....there was no doubt Grandpa was right there with me. I'd bet your Grandfather is the angel on your shoulder now.

The Stay @ Home-Gardener said...

I hope you two find peace, my friends. Warmest Condolences.

Linda said...

1st and 2nd,
I never had a grandfather. My father's father died 15 years before I was born. My mother was born 6 months after her father died. I know you feel your loss acutely. I felt the lack acutely and have no memories to hold. I am sorry you have no relatives to continue with you, but your partner and you have many memories yet to make. {{{ hugs}}}

1st Man said...

Thank you so much, it means a lot.

1st Man said...

That's so awesome. Always love to hear stories like this. For all the bad we hear, our hearts are filled with love when we hear this. Thank you for sharing and thank you for the warm thoughts.

1st Man said...

You are so wonderful. What a great thing to share with me. Thank you. I am struggling, like I did when I lost my parents, to 'sense' him but maybe I'm trying too hard. Just let it happen when we least expect it right? Thank you again. Luv ya!

1st Man said...

Why thank you dear Cloud. I always smile when I see you pop up on my screen. Much appreciated. Be warm yourself!!

1st Man said...

Wow, thank you so much. It does put it into perspective. You are so right, we have each other and we make our own memories don't we? Thank you again. Big hugs back at ya!

Ian's Girl said...

I"m just now seeing this; please accept my condolences. I'm 50 years old...my Grandma died when I was 13 and I still miss her every day, but I know she's there watching over me. So is your Grandad. That kind of love doesn't die.

Anonymous said...

I am sorry to hear of your loss; know that you are in my thoughts!!! Carlton

Midnite Baker said...

I'm saddened to hear of your loss. Whenever you have a gardening question, just ask yourself what would Grandpa say. And, if you listen very quietly, you will hear Grandpa's answer. I still do this today, even though my Mom as been gone for 57 years. I was 8 1/2 when she passed and she has answered a lot of questions for me. Your Grandpa, my Mom and God have the universal answers, we just have to learn to listen. Take Care and God Bless you both. Mary p.s. Don't forget to say thank you.